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RV Adventures

Bed Making Should Be An Olympic Sport

March 30, 2022 by Jessica Mathison Leave a Comment

Audio – Bed Making Should be an Olympic Sport
https://www.jessicamathison.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Audio-Bed-Making-Should-be-an-Olympic-Sport.mp3

Recently, I participated in a 21-day bed making challenge that was inspired by a speech US Navy Seal, Admiral William H. McRaven, gave. In his speech, he talks about the importance of making your bed every day. (If you haven’t seen it, you should definitely check it out. It’s a great perspective! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgzLzbd-zT4) I was happy to be a part of this challenge. I have always made my bed every morning. It was a habit instilled in me by my Mama when I was just a tiny girl…well not tiny. Coming from a family of tall people and being the shortest at 5’8”, the word ‘tiny’ has never been used to describe me. Anywho, her belief was the same as the Admiral’s. Making your bed in the morning can set you up for success.

I bet you think I’m going to be all inspiring and stuff, huh? Nah…I mean, I could, but I thought you might enjoy another perspective, perhaps a glimpse into the process that is bed-making (and having a bed in general) when living in an RV!

When someone imagines what it’s like in an RV, I’m sure they’re picturing themselves lying in an incredibly comfortable bed, falling asleep to the sounds of the beautiful location they are parked in. The bed they’re visualizing is amazing – the perfect amount of firm and soft – with just the right number of fabulous pillows, high thread-count sheets, and the softest comforter! And ya know, such a beautiful scene is totally possible. If you don’t keep the stock mattress that the manufacturers so generously include, that is.

I don’t think you can really call what you get a mattress. It’s maybe two inches of foam-like material covered in fabric that is merely a half-step above the stuff you find attached to the underside of a household box springs. Ah yes. Speaking of box springs… Those are not included with an RV bed. Instead, you have a platform that is hinged so that you can store stuff under the bed. (With space being at a premium and all…) So, sleeping on one of those so-called mattresses reminds me of sleeping on one of those bunky board things that were the ‘mattresses’ of choice for bunk beds when I was a kid. “Ouch! I must have slept wrong.” is guaranteed on the nightly with this set-up.

I attempted to remedy the discomfort of this whole situation with a very thick cooling memory foam topper. That was an adventure. Did you know that RV bed sizes are different than the bed sizes for the ones you have in your home? I didn’t. I do now. But, of course, not until I had purchased a mattress topper from Costco, unboxed it, discovered it was too big, attempted to re-box it, got a bonus cardio workout in the process, failed at said re-boxing, said ‘f@*%k this’, threw the topper and the abandoned box into the back seat of the pickup and returned it. The lady at Costco thought she was funny when she jokingly said, ‘Oh, I’m sorry. We can’t accept those unless they’re put back in the box.’ I’m pretty sure she figured out that she was, indeed, not funny because I was not able to school my face to have any sort of polite reaction. After consulting Google, I realized the error of my ways and ordered the right size foam topper only to discover that no level of comfort would not be gained without replacing this monstrosity…er…mattress!

Following an extensive search of Google, YouTube, and several Full-Time RV Facebook groups, I decided I was going to treat myself to a Sleep Number bed. Lucky me! They were even on sale! I should note that I am using the term ‘sale’ loosely. There was a discount from the regular price, but even at the sale price, I had to literally talk myself into purchasing this thing! I reminded myself that this was an investment in my health because a good night’s sleep is important. I also said to myself, ‘self – you will have this bed for a lot of years and when you divide that out by the number of nights you will sleep on it, the cost is minimal compared to the return.’ Yeah, I’m a nerd like that, convincing myself that a bed purchase has good ROI. So what?!

I was so excited about the new mattress! I was gonna to have the bestest sleep ever! I watched the parcel tracking like a kid waiting for presents during the holiday season. Then, one day, after weeks of waiting, it arrived! My excitement was quickly dashed by the realization that my mattress…singular…came in multiple boxes. I, one of the most adorkable yet mechanically uninclined people I know, would have to assemble it all by myself.

After three frantic calls to the Sleep Number store (1. Are you sure this thing is really the right size? The labels on the multitude of boxes are labeled with different sizes. 2. Aren’t the air thingies supposed to be on the sides for RVs? 3. Where are the holes for the air tubes? Doh! Wait. Found ’em. Nevermind!), several messages to someone waaay more mechanically inclined than I, one panicked video chat to said mechanically superior person and 975 expletives later, I finally assembled my Sleep Number mattress. Now, it was time to go make the damn thing.

Folks in the Full-Time RV groups joke that bed making in an RV should be an Olympic sport. I think they’re right. Bedrooms in RVs are pretty small. There is usually just enough room for the bed with maybe six inches of room on either side and maybe a foot, if you’re lucky, at the end of the bed. This is not conducive to easy bed making experiences. Making the bed should be listed, at a minimum, on one of those fitness tracking watches or apps.

The first step is to get the fitted sheet on the mattress. This consists of doing what I call the ‘excuse me, pardon me’ move to wedge yourself between the wall and one side of the bed as you shimmy to the head of the bed. (Picture yourself in a movie theater navigating your way from your seat to the aisle in front of all the people sitting in the row and you’ll know exactly what move I’m describing.) Then, you put one fitted sheet pocket over the top corner of the mattress, shimmy back to the foot of the bed and around to the other side, where you will attempt to put the other pocket on the opposite corner of the bed. If you’re lucky, it will work on the first try. More than likely, though, the other side will pop right off as you secure that second corner, thereby starting the whole process over again. The exertion and frustration sounds that go along with this process are comical…not in the moment, mind you…but eventually.

The second step is to place the flat sheet on the bed. Normally, one would hang on to the end of the sheet and throw it up, allowing the sheet to billow from the air captured under it and land on the bed in almost the right place. With a minor adjustment, the sheet is properly positioned. In an RV, not so much. The ceilings are considerably lower, so any attempts at this throw and billow technique only yield sore knuckles from hitting them on the ceiling multiple times and a messy top sheet. Extensive adjusting is then required using the ‘excuse me, pardon me’ move I previously mentioned as well as a lot of tugging and pulling. All delightfully embellished by a cacophony of exertion and frustration noises.

And guess what? You must repeat this whole process again because there is still the comforter glaring at you, nay, mocking you, as if alive and saying, ‘Go ahead, try me. This’ll be fun.’ The third and final step is putting the pillows on the bed. By now, I’m way past the ‘I’m so over this’ point and employ the tried and true ‘to Hell with it’ method of pillow placement. When using this method, the pillows are violently thrown in the general direction of the head of the bed and left at whatever odd angle in which they land. This is usually accompanied by grumbling something along the lines of, ‘eh, that’ll work.’

So, there you have it folks! Having a bed, something many take for granted, is quite the adventure when living in an RV. I still wouldn’t trade this life in for a sticks and bricks though. I’ll just go take a nap instead…on the couch.

Filed Under: RV Adventures

Oh, the Glamourous RV Life

March 8, 2022 by Jessica Mathison 4 Comments

Blog 2
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This RV life…I love it! Even though I am in one spot for right now, the idea that I can hook up to the truck and go… Well, once I pull down and stow away any breakables in the cupboards, take everything off the bookshelves, secure items in the fridge, take folded clothes down from the shelf in the closet, strap down furniture and remove décor that might fall and break all over the place, that is. Despite all that, it is this amazing sense of freedom and adventure. Of course, as with everything in life, there is more than meets the eye. But, I mean check out this view!

The place I’m calling home right now is in the gorgeous state of Oregon. I can open my blinds to see the beauty that surrounds me and step out my door to be in it. I ended up in this park to start my full-time RV journey because, well, they were the first ones to call me, and I had to be out of the property I sold by the end of the month. Finding a monthly RV spot is way more challenging than I expected.

I am so glad that this was the first place to offer me a space though. The park is above a golf course and it’s in a safe area. I don’t even need to lock up the bike I keep meaning to ride but never do! It’s mostly quiet here. Uh, there is landscaping….like A LOT of landscaping…that happens daily, but it is scheduled and I can work around it for the most part! This park is filled with a mixture of lovely people who live here full-time, travel here for the winter, stay here because they are working in the area or are just here for a few days. It’s like neighborhoods in the ‘good ol’ days’ when you waved to the neighbors as they walked by and you scritched the ears of the dog who was delighted to see you again. If someone sees you doing some chore, they are quick to offer help or even advice about this cool trick they learned or alternative way to do things that’s better or less expensive or less annoying.

Oh! And the park manager, Kristy, is wonderful! I call her the propane fairy because any time I change out the propane tanks, I just put them right in front of the RV and they are not only magically filled, but also put back on either side of the RV next to compartments where they will go when I need to replace the tanks again! Ah-mazing!!!

Speaking of propane, let’s talk about some of the not-so-fun adventures…

So, there are electrical appliances in an RV and there are propane appliances. Interestingly enough, the appliances seem to be split along seasonal lines. In the warmer months, your electricity usage goes up because, ya know, air conditioner. In the colder months, the propane usage goes up, because, well, furnace. I swear the RV and the appliances are in cahoots (picture The Brave Little Toaster on tour) because I can NEVER run out of propane in the middle of the day when it’s light out and at least a little bit warmer. Noooo! The dumb ol’ propane has to run out in the middle of the stupid night so that it’s frickin’ freezing in the RV and outside too and I have to drag myself from my warm bed, layer up and change the propane tanks with a flashlight held between my teeth, hair looking like I’m channeling Einstein and plenty of curse words perched on the tip of my tongue for when the wingnut decides to fall out of my hand and under the RV making me crawl around on the cold @$$ concrete pad to retrieve it!

Also, the hot water heater is one of those appliances that runs on propane. Due to this, there is a small amount of pre-planning that goes into taking a shower. As in, you need to flip the water heater switch on so that there will be hot water for said shower. This takes some time, so you can’t just roll out of bed and shower. Well, I actually can’t roll out of the bed because the space between the bed and the wall is pretty small and if I don’t land right, my happy butt is gonna be stuck until I struggle, make tons of fat puppy sounds and yell out a laundry list of expletives for the entire park, or at least the people in the neighboring spaces, to hear! But, I digress. Not to mention, the switch for the water heater is right next to the switch for the water pump. I’m sure it goes without saying that the water pump does NOT make hot water. In the wee hours of the morning, when I don’t want to blind myself by turning on the really bright LED overhead lights, and before I have located my glasses, (did I mention the ‘bedside tables’ are the size of a grilled cheese triangle that don’t hold my glasses safely?) I have, on occasion, flipped the wrong switch and waited patiently only to find out I now must remedy that error and wait some more!

Ah yes! Another lesson I learned last week is that if the propane runs out while the water heater switch is in the ‘on’ position, it does not automatically restart. Like with many things, there is a very easy solution to this. Simply flip the switch off and on again and flame on! Unfortunately, I did not remember the KISS method at that particular juncture and instead spent a ridiculous amount of time looking through the owner’s manual, consulting Google and watching useless YouTube videos. You bet ya booty I’m gonna remember it from now on though!

The water heater is also, naturally, a small tank because RVs require space saving, lightweight materials and all that jazz. Ya know what that means? I’ll tell ya what it means! It means you better not need to wash your hair and body AND shave your legs because if you do that, you’re gonna have a nice cold rinsy-rinse because there is a whole seven minutes of hot water, five if you like a hotter shower. And, like, of course I do. Why would I make it easier on myself by preferring showers that don’t melt your skin off?

And then there’s the black tank…

Remember the iconic scene from the movie National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation when you see Randy Quaid outside the Griswold home, draining something foul into their sewer drain? Yeah, I feel like that Every. Single. Week. as I go out to drain and clean the black tank, AKA the sewer tank. If my Mama was still alive, I’m positive she would somehow manage to find every little tchotchke out there with a picture of that scene or the infamous words, “Shitters Full!” I know this because during the time I was nursing my daughter umpteen years ago, she gifted me milk cow everything! She would laugh heartily as I looked at her, rolling my eyes, asking, “Really? Again? Where the hell do you find all these things?” To which she would reply, “Mama has her ways, my dear.”  Anywho, I digress again…

Fortunately, this task does not resemble what you see in that memorable scene when you are hooked up to services at a park. Instead, it’s essentially a closed system in which you put clean water in as you dump black water out several times until the water runs clear. You would think that when you are in a park, hooked up to city services, that you would just leave the tank open and let it drain. I mean, isn’t that kind of what it would be like in a regular plumbing system. Isn’t this sort of similar? It is not. It most definitely is not. It causes what is known among professional circles as ‘a poop pyramid’. They are no fun to deal with and can be costly to clear. I am so glad that a kind neighbor told me when I first moved into this park about how to properly use the black tank. If he hadn’t, I’m sure you would be enjoying a story about my adventures in dealing with the dreaded poop pyramid!

Well, folks I hope you have enjoyed the joy and pain that is my life as a full-time RVer. I certainly enjoy living this life and sharing my stories with you! If you want to read or hear more about my adventures, make sure to subscribe to my blog and share it with your friends!

Smell ya later dude!

Filed Under: RV Adventures

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